Its starting/started....:(

So far we have been "together" as a married couple for a total of two weeks since the wedding. :( We knew this would happen, but its still sad. Jesse started his training the beginning of March and has pretty much been gone since. He was in Flagstaff/Florence for March and I was able to see him for two days while he was down in Florence. Then I got to pick him up in Flag and bring him home for a week. We did so much together! Went to the opening day Diamondbacks game, shooting, did pool side for a day, relaxad at home, hung out with the family, went to dinners with friends. It was a fun week!!! After that week was over I had to drive him back to Flag and say my goodbyes. They had a BBQ and all the families were invited. The worst part was just sitting around waiting because time seemed to fly by knowing our goodbye's were coming. After his family left I drove him back over to the barracks and we sat in my truck for about a half hour just talking. I didn't cry until he got out of the truck to come over to my side and gave me a hug. That is when I lost it....looking at his face and knowing I wouldn't see it for almost a year killed me inside. It was SOOO hard! He kept kissing my forhead and telling me to not worry and I all could think was "uhhh YEAH, ok...RIGHT!" We kissed one last time and he told me he loved me and it will be over soon. I shut my door, turned on my truck and started driving out of the parking lot. As I turned the corner to leave he was standing on the side of the road, came up to the truck, I rolled down my window and gave me another kiss and said he loved me!! It was romantic! he he It was hard to drive out of the base, but I did it! I called my mother right away and told her she needed to talk to me because I had to drive down to Phoenix and I didn't want to cry. After I talked to her, I called my grandma! She got my mind off of it quick and was making me laugh! My family, they know me too well! And off to Indiana they went. We download SKYPE on our computers so we talk through that and see each other on WEBCAM all the time. He still has his cell phone so that is my comfort and it hasn't been that hard yet. I suport him and will always be here for him, but the missing him part is what hurts the most!!

SOOOOO...a month went by and he called me and said, "MAY 27th through JUNE 2nd!! BOOK MY TICKET HOME!!!" I got SOOOO excited I didn't know what to do! I bought him a ticket right then and there and now he gets to come home ONE MORE TIME! They weren't going to have this leave, but last minute change and I am OK with it! Its only the 13th of May and its the longest we have ever been apart from each other! The time together before he leaves is what I cherish the most! So now I am just waiting...and waiting...for May 27th! :) I am picking him up at the airport at 10:40pm and we are going to relax and have a good time while he is home! I told Jesse that I am going to be selfish and him and I aren't allowed to be apart AT ALL!! :) I bring him back to the airport on June 2nd and he leaves to go back to Indiana and then overseas. So no more surprise trips home after that...:( I have to say my goodbye's again, at the airport this time. No fun at all, but its worth seeing him again!

All I keep thinking about is all the things we have to look forward to when he comes home! Our future, family, new places to live, traveling, vacations!!! I love him more then the world and will always and forever! I LOVE YOU JESSE MORE THEN THE PLANETS! :)

to sum things up.....

WE GOT MARRIED!!! After our engagement in January, Jesse and I decided the best idea would be to get married before he got deployed. It was a decision that took a lot of thought because we didn't know what our families were going to say. So Jesse and I sat down on February 11th and had a good heart to heart talk about what WE wanted and not anyone else. We decided, LETS GET MARRIED!!! It then clicked in my head "you are leaving in two weeks, this has to be done now!" So I started planning! We went down to the court house in Mesa, AZ and got our marriage license! I had a dress that a friend gave me sitting my my closet. I didn't like it, so I cut it up and sewed it to the way I wanted it to look. It was a short tea length dress and it was PERFECT! I got myself a pair of $17 shoes and my outfit was DONE! I bought Jesse a shirt and tie and his outfit was done. We had no bridesmaids or groomsmen. It was just us! On February 21st we had a quick ceremony in Chandler at Desert Breeze Park at 1pm. We were there with just our families and a couple friends, OH and Jesse's Mom (Julie) and Aunt Susan (Snooze) surprised us!! That was AWESOME!!! Pastor David Wright married us! I have known Dave and Cheree since I was about 6 or 7. They were the pastors of our church I grew up in when we lived in Cape Coral, Florida. They are awesome people and I wouldn't have wanted anyone but them to marry us!! The ceremony went GREAT! My dad gave me away and was honored to have Jesse as a new son in his life. My family really loves Jesse and said they couldn't have picked a better match for me! I cried, my mom and dad cried, and so did my sisters when we were getting ready. The first thing my dad said to me as I walked down the stairs in my sisters house was how beautiful I looked and he was so proud of me! Makes me tear up now thinking of it...:) So as Jesse and I stood up with Pastor Dave, I could feel my nerves start to kick in. I was smiling to relieve my tension and Jesse didn't smile once. He was so serious. I was trying to make funny faces at him just to get a smirk, NOTHING. Poor kid...LOL When it was time to put the rings on and we had to hold hands, his were shaking so bad! It made me feel better that I wasn't the only was nervous! We said our "I DO's" and kissed and it was over! In a week I had planned my wedding, made my dress, and got married! I wouldn't have done it different, excpet I wish all my family could have been there...but they all live in Florida or Cali and last minute flights are insane! So after the wedding was over, my dad wanted to do something nice for Jesse and I. Since Jesse and I did the whole wedding on our own, my dad wanted to take Jesse and I out for lunch with my family. We went to Bennihana's! MY FAVORITE!! It was so yummy! The restaurant messed up on our reservations and ended up opening the restaurant just for us!!! My sister surprised me with a cake she made! It was white cake with Reese's Peanut Butter cups inside of it! There was purple ribbon and purple flowers all over it! We were also surprised when my mom's friends started playing "I loved her first" and my dad and I got to dance in the restaurant. Then they played a rascal flatts song, that I can't remember right now, for Jesse and I to dance to. It was awesome! :) After lunch, Jesse and I headed to the Phoenician where my boss and his wife got Jesse and I a room for the night! It was beautiful!!! We were so tired by the end of the night, we just went to bed, woke up and were ready to go home! Life has been WONDERFUL since! I love him more than anything and I wouldn't change any of it for anything! We have a marriage that will last forever and I am excited for our future together! Its so exciting!!!

ENGAGED!!!!!

Well the first of the year came and passed...Jesse was in the dunes and I went and hung out with Hannah and Dillon on Mill. It was a lot of fun, but really missed Jesse. When it came time for California, we were both extremely excited! We took a 4 day weekend (the weekend of MLK day) and drove to Cali. We stayed at Camp Pendleton and got a "cottage" on the beach. The cottage was different, but it worked! As soon as we got there we HAD to go to the beach. It is my happy place! :) We went and got groceries and then headed back to the room. We just hung out the first night and didn't do much but go to the beach. Saturday we woke up and went to San Diego Zoo!!! It was SO MUCH FUN! I got to see the panda bears and thats pretty much all I really cared about. :) We were at the Zoo for about 6 hours and then left and went to Coronado Island. We walked around, talked, and just relaxed. The base was about 45 min north of San Diego, so we tried to do as much as possible while we were down there. We did end up getting lost in Downtown San Diego. How we got there, I couldn't tell you, but thanks to the GPS, we found our way back! Sat night we got back to the base right before sunset and ran down to the beach as fast as possible to see it. We just made it and then after the sun set we decided to take a walk down by the water, which was FREEZING! A huge wave was coming up and I ran back up to the beach and when I turned around, Jesse was on one knee with the ring in hand and asked me to marry him! He was so cute and nervous! He was trying to be serious but couldn't hold back the smile. HAHA He was so cute! I said "yes" and he put the ring on my finger! He told me he did it on the beach because he knew it was my favorite place in the world and wanted to make sure it always stayed that way and now I have a better memory of it. I LOVE HIM! :) Sunday, we went to Sea World! That was a lot more fun the the Zoo! So much more to see and do! We went to EVERY show possible and rode almost every ride we could! We got SOAKED at the dolphin show! It was a fun...but LONG day! After we left there we met up with TJ & Amber. They came back to the base with us and we got some beer and sat out on the beach with a fire and just talked for hours! We had a LOT of fun with them and Jesse was really excited to see TJ! Monday morning we woke up, packed our stuff and headed home. All in all...it was a GREAT start to the new year! OH and it was part of my birthday present too!!! :)

Now I am just planning and trying to figure out what is going to happen for the wedding. Nothing will happen until Jesse gets home. The wedding as of right now is planned for FEB 2011! Plenty of time to figure it out.

Well Jesse got his orders and he leaves March 6th-April 6th for in state training and April 7th - 10th (one of those dates) is when he leaves for Indiana and then to Iraq. :( Its been hard, but we have talked enough about everything where we both know we will be fine! I love him more than the WORLD and am so excited for him to come home to spend the rest of our lives together. Its just the waiting that sucks